Why Your Dog Isn’t Being “Difficult”:
Behaviour, Emotional Regulation, and the Cost of Misunderstanding Dogs
When dogs bark, lunge, growl, shut down, or “forget” learned behaviours, they are often labelled as difficult, disobedient, or stubborn. These descriptions are not only inaccurate — they are harmful.
Behaviour is not a moral choice.
It is a biological and emotional response mediated by the nervous system.
Understanding this requires us to move away from obedience-centred thinking and towards a brain–body–emotion framework.
Behaviour as a Nervous System Output
Dogs respond to perceived threats through the same neurobiological systems as humans. When overwhelmed, the brain prioritises survival over cognition, shifting behaviour away from learning and compliance and toward self-protection.
Common stress responses include vocalisation, avoidance, reactivity, freezing, and loss of previously reliable cues. These are adaptive responses, not defiance.
Emotional Dysregulation and Behaviour
Emotional regulation is a prerequisite for behavioural regulation. Research consistently demonstrates that stress, fear, and pain significantly impair a dog’s ability to process information and respond flexibly (Hargrave, 2020).
Thus, behaviours commonly labelled as “reactive” are better understood as expressions of emotional dysregulation.
Anthropomorphism: Harmful or Helpful?
Anthropomorphism — attributing human-like emotions to animals — has long been criticised within animal sciences. However, modern research suggests the issue is not anthropomorphism itself, but uninformed anthropomorphism.
Understanding dogs as emotional beings can improve welfare, empathy, and responsiveness to pain or distress (Butterfield et al., 2012; Ellingsen et al., 2010).
Problems arise when:
Normal canine communication is misinterpreted
Stress signals are dismissed as “play”
Punishment replaces understanding
In these cases, guardians may inadvertently become a source of fear rather than safety (Rajecki et al., 1999).
Attachment, Punishment, and Emotional Fallout
Dogs subjected to punitive or authoritarian handling styles often display patterns consistent with insecure attachment. In both human and canine research, insecure attachment correlates with anxiety, compulsive behaviours, panic responses, and aggression (Manicavasagar et al., 2009; Mikulincer & Shaver, 2010).
These outcomes mirror psychopathological conditions in humans — not because dogs are “bad,” but because emotional needs are unmet.
Why Obedience Alone Fails
Obedience training teaches dogs how to respond in controlled environments. It does not:
Change emotional states
Heal fear or trauma
Foster secure attachment
A dog may comply while still experiencing distress. Behaviour may look “better” while welfare worsens.
Toward an Authoritative, Trauma-Informed Model
Dogs thrive when guardians provide:
Emotional safety
Predictability
Choice and agency
Clear, kind boundaries
This mirrors the authoritative parenting model shown to foster resilience and secure attachment in humans — and increasingly supported in canine behaviour research.
Conclusion
Dogs are not machines to be programmed.
They are emotional, social beings shaped by biology, experience, and relationship.
When behaviour is viewed through a brain–body lens, the question shifts from:
“How do I stop this behaviour?”
to
“What does my dog need to feel safe?”
And that is where real change begins.
References
Butterfield, M.E., Hill, S.E. & Lord, C.G. (2012) Mangy mutt or furry friend? Anthropomorphism promotes animal welfare. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 48(4), pp.957–960.
Ellingsen, K., Zanella, A.J., Bjerkås, E. & Indrebø, A. (2010) The relationship between empathy, perception of pain and attitudes toward pets among Norwegian dog owners. Anthrozoos, 23(3), pp.231–243.
Hargrave, C. (2020) COVID-19: Implications of self-isolation and social distancing for the emotional and behavioural health of dogs. Companion Animal, 25(4).
Manicavasagar, V. et al. (2009) Adult attachment styles in panic disorder. Australian & New Zealand Journal of Psychiatry, 43(2), pp.167–172.
Mikulincer, M. & Shaver, P.R. (2010) Attachment, anger, and aggression. Washington, DC: APA.
Rajecki, D. et al. (1999) Humans’ causal attributions for a companion animal’s social behavior. Society & Animals, 7(1), pp.17–34.
Voith, V.L., Wright, J.C. & Danneman, P.J. (1992) Anthropomorphism and canine behaviour problems. Applied Animal Behaviour Science, 34, pp.263–272.